Laugh A Minute!

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! I cannot even control this laughter! Hahahahahhahahahahaha... Hehehehehehehehehe...!!! Gawd, some people missed their callings in life, I swear! Lordha'mercy!!! I have not laughed this hard in longer than I can recall. Somebody tell me again why I should not love coming to The Palms *eyebrowsRaised*.
First it was "call me Mrs. Orlando", now it is this clown that either owns or manages Film Juice/ Film Cafe! My doctor would be pleased to look at my heart right now. This laughter don exercise am die!

Where to start... Ummm... Okay... "call me Mrs. Orlando". While at Phenomenon, my friend who told me of SGC, introduced Somi and I to this heavily pregnant lady whom she came with. She was like...

"Miz darling, Somi... Meet my colleague, Alero. Alero, meet my dear friends Somi and Miz." As fellow chics, Somi and I hailed her...
"hi Alero... Nice to meet you." Me, I followed it up with "abeg, when are we coming to carry baby?"

You would not believe what Alero said next!
She said...

"Call me Mrs. Orlando. Thank you." and she said it with this really condescending tone you use for those you believe to be beneath you. Thank God a fly did not fly into our mouths from how long we had them hanging open! I could not believe the babe! Hahahahaha!!!!!
Somi recovered faster than I did and in minutes my mouth was open again but the laughter coming from it could be heard a mile off! Somi turned to her and was like...

 "oh really? Forgive our social inadequacies, Mrs. Orlando. And I must apologize on behalf of our darling friend, Oma, or should I say Mrs. Irondi? Let us do this introduction all over again. I am Mrs. Somi Galadima from the Galadima dynasty, and unfortunately Miz here likes to be known as just Miz even to the minions in her office. So I guess even you get to call her  Miz. Oh my... Want me to get you a chair? You look like you might need it. You look all swollen. Miz boo, do you remember when I was pregnant with Amber? What label was that after me to grace their billboard again? They could not believe I was 7months pregnant! I was so graceful in my state. I guess I defined real beauty then. How many months gone are you, sweetie? Nine?... Oma, please get these attendants to get Mrs. Orlando a chair, thank you."

I cracked up, mehnnnn... I could not hold it in. I even doubled over after I saw the look on "call me Mrs. Orlando's" face. She looked like she had been hit with a truck full of dung! Even Oma was struggling to hold her laughter in. One mysterious cough suddenly held her captive. Somi had a straight face all the while, the sly fox!
But my fellow babes sha!!! Honestly,  I'm still cracking up thinking of that! I could not even say a word. Not even to save my own life. First it was disbelief, then laughter that had me captive! Hehehehehehehe

I did not know I had more laughter in store for me O! Today has been awesome! Sexy-as-sin lingerie, exquisite shoes, good movie, and laughter to last me a month! Let me gist you what happened at the cafe upstairs. Somi and I went there to get two cups of their smoothies to refresh our energy level as we were getting ready to go to Hangers & Kicks to dress-hunt. While waiting for someone to bring us a menu, we were busy gisting and stuff. Next thing we knew, this dude bounded up to us and said "you are sitting on the chairs reserved for my clients, the least you could do is order a smoothie. If you won't order, then please give way for people who want to patronize us." Did I see your brows shoot up? Mine did O! Somi told me later that she thought they would fall off. This was my forte however. I am a corporate chic and I know what you should and should not do to anatagonize your clients. I turned to the dude and said...
"how rude of you, Mister. No wonder you hardly have people here to buy your stuff. You suck at customer services. Even if we did not want to buy, which by the way we actually wanted to, your attitude right now has served to ensure I never buy stuff from you again, nor will my friends when they get to hear of this, and trust me they will. You should go take a beginners course in Customer Services. You don't know jack!"

 That said, I turned and started to walk away. The man who had also turned to go back to his office, came back to meet Somi thinking I had gone, and was like "your friend is very rude. Very very rude. She has no right to talk to me the way she just did. Tell her I said that. She needs to learn how to talk to people." Somi simply told him, "she's right behind you actually. I think you will relay the message better." I was just standing there laughing at the man who walked away as if the hounds of hell were on his heels!
Somi and I burst into maniacal laughter. Seriously! Two clowns in one day is a bit too much for us to handle! Kai... God help me O!

TANGO WITH ME

I cried, I smiled, and I sighed. At first I thought, why would I
choose to see a naija movie in the cinema, but then as the plot
unfolded, I became engrossed. Women go through a lot sha. I applaud
Lola, Genevieve Nnaji's character in the movie. She was violently
dis-virgined by gunmen on her wedding night, got pregnant by them,
faced the ordeal of a broken marriage but remained strong through it
all and conquered. You just have to give it up for Genevieve! The babe
sabi interpret roles... Kai!!! I didn't even think of shoes while
watching. That's how absorbed I was. Okay... Let me confess. There was
this moment when I thought... "If only she had worn 6-inch red heels
with that dress..." Hehe. I loved her dresses. I wonder who the
wardrobe person is.

Now however, I've got shoes on my mind big time! Hehehe. Okay... It's
PHENOMENON, baby!!! It's shoe time! I love shopping in Phenomenon.
They have such lovely shoes! Like seriously, if you haven't paid them
a visit before, then you have erred on the side of fashionable stores.
You visit The Palms and don't visit Phenomenon... You should be sued!
I will send pictures so you can see the shoe that won my heart today.
Don't be surprised to see more than a pair... *winks!

Whoo- hoo!!! Who can tell I am excited?! I am so excited you would
think I got an invite to the over hyped Royal Wedding. It's not
PHENOMENON that is exciting me neither. I am yet to look around, even
though my eye caught some prospects. I met a friend of mine just now
and she just told me of an event she and a couple of people are
planning towards.
STOP! You are rolling your eyes prematurely. Hmmmnnnphh!! It is not a
fashion gala jor.
Silver- Green Cheers. This is one event worthy of note. It is targeted
at kids living with debilitating illnesses and this year they are
focusing on Sickle Cell Disease. I once had a friend who is a sickle
cell patient. I had to stay in the hospital with her during a crisis
and I felt her pain deeply. So, that this event is designed to give
these kids the opportunity to celebrate life with other kids as well
as adults who were born with same illnesses and have gone on to be
successful, is reason enough for me to very excited. I love kids. I
love life. They should be allowed to live. Get ready. December.
Silver- Green Cheers. Mark it down, baby!

Ooooohhhhh... I knew there was a reason I love Phenomenon. Check these
shoes out!!!! Eye candy!!! I feel like a dog that has been fed with a
huge meaty bone. You know how they drool... Better still, imagine
Popeye or Johnny Bravo in love! I walked straight into paradise!
Then again, I also love Phenomenon because there is always better gist
and people to hear and meet. If I wasn't here, I wouldn't have heard
about SGC, (we gotta appreciate these strong individuals you know?),
and I certainly wouldn't have met 'Call Me Mrs Orlando'. I will give
you her gist later. I was cracking up in there!! Somi and I in our
element!
Where are these attendants now?! Bring me shoes! Bring them all!!!
Time to tango, baby!

I AM GETTING MINXED!

Seriously, I'll kick any okada rider that comes close to my car again. Why do these people ride like maniacs? And the people they carry when they ride like beasts, don't they value their lives? It's amazing! Some of them even encourage the okada boys to take risks with their lives. Those okada people are lucky it's not me they carry o! Because I'll continuously smack anyone that rides dangerously, HARD on the back! Meanwhile,  abeg abeg abeg, this traffic wahala is seriously getting on my nerves O! I cannot get used to it!  Imagine 2hours to travel from my house in Parkview  to The Palms! The worst part of it is I had to stay on Falomo bridge for 30minutes! I hate being on top of a bridge. I know my standing on the ground, not water. I no fit shout! Lol. 
Okay, enough with my rants. It's something I cannot help but do. LaS GiDi does that to all its inmates. Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing in The Palms because I know I'll end up seeing a movie. Right now though, I am in MANGO. I am waiting for the lady to bring me certain options. This place is crowded! Most of the ladies in here are like my friend, Somi. Somi is one of the Island "big-girls" that does nothing with her time but shop, go to the movies, and look good. She is married to one "money-miss-road" that spends Currencies on her, so she does not work. She just looks good. That girl is still as silly as the day she was born! I hope she's smart enough to stash some in a Fixed Account, but the way she is burning up the stores and traveling like no man's business... Chai! Speaking of which, I called her to join me here and the babe never show. If I catch... Oops! There she comes. I guess I spoke too fast. Dayumm, she looks good! Wait Oh, am i hallucinating or is that a Hermes bag I see her carrying? The same Hermes I have been saving up to buy for months? Now I see benefits of this her money-bag husband O! The babe dey vex!
Okay... I am leaving MANGO jor, cannot see anything eye-grabbing here. Besides, if I allow us to dally here, Somi would start one of her sprees. I no get that kain power today. Time to go make kissy noises  and exclaim over that Hermes bag! I want my own O! Give me 10minutes and I will be right back. You know how we ladies do. If you are a lady, Leggooooo!! We are too gbasky.

Ah! I am back. You will not believe it but Somi has a new car!!!!! The 2011 Range Rover!!!! She could not resist flashing and flashing the keys just so I could see... Yeye girl. But that ride is badt, mehn!!! And as expensive as it is fine. I have removed my eye already, no need coveting what I cannot afford right now. If bobo offer to buy for me, *wink!
So we are in that lingerie store close to KFC and my eyes popping like a cartoon character. I think they jazzed me with lingerie. I can almost see you rolling your eyes and hear the "yea yea". Hehe. Okay, so they used everything fashionable to jazz me, but I like this kind of juju O! They should rename this store "SINFUL PLEASURES". Them dey do me strong thing.

BY the way, Somi was gisting me about these new nails in vogue and they are to die for! Well, figuratively. She has them on and she says she's been minxed (that's what they call it). My dear, I am so going to get MINXED for this dinner! Rihanna, Victoria Beckham, Blake Lively and Keri Hilson have been seen rocking it. Trust me, yours truly does not dull. I am so getting MINXED! Visit www.minxmynails.co.uk to see why I am literally going ga-ga here. I am off to check what movies are showing before I go bankrupt in this store. Ladies, if you have the time, abeg go and get MINXED! Don't be told. I'll even show you what it looks like. Movie- time!! If you are at The Palms right now, holla at your girl!