THE COMPANY DINNER

The company dinner is on saturday, it's wednesday today and I haven't a thing to wear for it!!!! I hate this office (Well, figuratively of course. After all, they do pay me a huge salary), I'm sorely overworked with no time for my own shopping. I have not shopped in a month!!
To top it all off, Ada in the finance department, brought un-impressive dresses for Me to buy. No Gucci, no Armani not even a Dorothy Perkins to go cheap. Utunu!! What does she take me for?

I have certain rules I believe every woman worth her salt in fashion must live by and one of them is, if you must shop, shop for the Names! Now, I'm not one to go name- dropping even though you probably think so. However my wardrobe boasts of Alexander McQueens', Pradas, Jimmy Choos, Oscar De LaRanta, Christian Louboutins, YSLs, Steve Maddens and I even have Ferragamos'.
My clothes, my shoes, my jewelry, my bags and even my make- up (I'm assuming you already know my perfumes are included) must bear Names. So, would someone be kind enough to explain why Ada thinks I should buy a dress named JESSICA? Jessi who- ha?!

I know,I know. You are wondering about my other rules, right? (You probably aren't), I'd like to think you are though. And as it is not in my nature to with- hold information, here goes... read and learn! Hehe

1) To keep healthy, go to the gym at least two saturdays in a month. Not necessarily to work out, though of course youy get to exercise your cheeks when you smile. Going to the gym affords you the opportunity to show off your Addidas clothes and Nike sneakers. People would stare and admire you, which would make you feel good and that adds ten years to your life (or is it nine? I forget). Is that not absolutely healthy?

2) It is a cardinal sin to repeat same outfits to work more than twice in a month! Go shopping, girl!

3) Visit only well- known spas and salons. They are Names.

4) Have at least one Ferragamo in your collection. It boosts your ego.

5) You should splurge on Victoria's secret. Taste some heaven!

Oops!!! You have managed to distract me so much that I have digressed from the main issue... "what to wear for the company dinner just two days away!!"
This is a tough one and an impending disaster if I do not get a solution. I need time to shop for the right dress. OMG!! I also need to visit the salon, the spa...!! I must look good, no... my best!! I saw the dress Uleoma is planning to wear and it is a stunner. I have to get one that would rival hers. I must make an impression that day.
Drat!! I thought my problem would disappear just by me talking about it. Apparently not. I guess I have just one option to pursue. Time to develop a migraine that would allow me leave the office now, then maybe a full- blown fever to give me tomorrow off too. A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do, or so they say. LOL.

Time to put this into action. This calls for a trip to the Ladies'. I can happily carry a pained look, wince convincingly and lament over my headache when I am asked. I can even make a show of wanting to puke. It is symptomatic of migraines, right? I hope I am right o, because i no be doctor. Best of all, I will have to pass HRMs office to get to the ladies. That man no dey use eye see me, he will ask me to step into his office. He will also authorise my going home. Since he has decided he will not let me rest in this office because say I fine, I have decided that he will be my pawn whenever I need one #shikena.