Face Your front, dear!!

Hello darlings!!!! How has your week been? As depressing as mine? Everybody seemed to be working together to piss me off. At the office, my PA managed to screw up the simplest task ever. H.R.M could not stop eating foods with too much garlic which irritated me greatly because for some insane reason he was always breathing down my neck trying to peep at my computer (or see into my cleavage... the twat).
Somi on her own end conveniently forgot about the lunch date we had planned thereby making me go all by myself allowing the opportunity for some seriously pot-bellied oaf to approach me with lettuce stuck between his teeth... GROSS!!!
And then to crown my annoyance, the dry cleaners burnt my Vera Wang dress!! I have had a simply horrid week but in the midst of it all I managed to get some gist that I hope would make you laugh as much as it made me. I laughed so hard I had tears running down my cheeks which were hurting so bad from all the laughter. Let me give you a clue on what this gist about... take your mind back to the movie "Pretty Woman" and then picture the elevator scene. Good!!!... Let's go!!!

I was at a very busy restaurant today trying to have some lunch before returning to the madness of the office. While waiting for my food which was annoyingly taking forever to arrive, I was "people-watching" as I usually do.

Just as I was about to bend my head to take a sip of my colada, I saw "action-film" being shot right in my very before. There was a couple seated 3 tables across from me, I estimated their respective ages to be about 40/45. I thought the wife looked like a crow ready to pounce on her prey and I was not wrong at all because just a few minutes after thinking that, I saw her stand up to land the man a dirty one smack across the cheek... GBOOM!!!! As yellow as the poor man was, his face instantly turned as red as a very ripe tomato.
Apparently, one of these Sisi eko's who have nothing else in their wardrobes but pants they like to call bum-shorts had passed by their table to find a seat. The poor man whose eyes were apparently hungry for such a sight followed her every movement till the moment she sat down and his mouth was hanging open like that of a drooling dog's which I guess is not far from what he was at that moment.
While he was busy engrossed in staring at sisi, his iyawo was busy setting her hand to land him a sweet slap. I can still hear the sound, it was that loud. Everybody stopped what they were doing to stare at the show that had just unfolded before us.

My oh my, this was totally worth the delay plus the crazy amount I had to pay for the food. Entertainment toh badt!!! When it finally dawned on the man that he had been slapped and in front of a crowd too, he equally stood and tried to do gra-gra with his wife who picked up a fork and warned him clearly enough that we could all hear her in the restaurant.

"Come near me with that pathetic body of yours and I will help you pluck out your philandering eyes that cannot seem to stay one place. Idiot!!! Olosi, oloriburuku, Omo Ale!! Look at you!!! Useless man!! Your mates are out there taking care of their responsibilities and you are here looking at every girl that crosses your path. If you could even impregnate someone I would understand but with all your waka-about, you are still as impotent as a fool. Good-for-nothing buffalo!!!"


Aaahhh... that one enter I am sure. The man just sat down heavily on his chair and bowed his head as if in shame or pain. Before I could shout "WAITER", the man was up and pursuing his wife with the table knife. You should have seen both of them wielding their cutlery weapons and running round and round the restaurant. The poor waiters were bewildered as to what to do. Me I was busy laughing!!!! CHEIIIII...!!!! I could not stop the laughter so I just kept right on laughing as I watched the security men enter the fray while trying to restore peace in the restaurant. No entertainment better than that, I swear down!!! I could not even eat the food any more when they brought it. I was full from laughter. I had to ask them to pack it for me to take back to work. I was entertained for days!!!

Abeg, work dey tomorrow before laughter holds me captive here again tonight. Sleep well my darlings.

Hugs and hershey Kisses,


MIZ