Saturday 3 September 2011

SCAMMERS ANONYMOUS...

Wetin I take this my ear hear yesterday ehn...!!! Chei!!! Na wa oh...!! Twitter fine boiz and gbogbo bigz gals, I hail una oh!!!
Okay, so I went over to the Radisson Blu yesterday afternoon to have lunch with a friend who came into town from Abuja. While enjoying my meal at the Surface bar and Grill, this gist popped up. Obviously there is this dude on twitter whose sole aim is to get rich off of vulnerable kind-hearted ladies with excess cash to throw away. His twitter handle will be revealed partially at the end of this gist, but one clue... he is into heights. So, look again at any follower of yours who is into same thing because he just might be out to work on you... and your wallet!! Abeg, take that money to buy better something for yourself jare.

According to a friend of his who was also having lunch with us and who was duped by this dude, they started off with the normal retweets and mentions as we all do on twitter. And then, the DMs started rolling in before they decided to meet as per friends concerned. The dude told her a sob story about his mom being critically ill and in need of medical attention and him being piss-ass broke so could not afford to take her to the hospital as he should. I don't know if he put jazz in his mouth oh, because the babe I saw did not look like a fool to me, but what she did next can only be described as grossly foolish because the babe sharp sharp gave him a hundred grand!! Ol' boy, see daylight robbery oh!!! I am a proud Lagos babe!! I cannot be swindled!! I never finish to collect, I go come dey give man. Except I know you personally and I know you are good for a loan, never!!!! My mama did not give birth to me in Lagos just so I can end up counting the bridges we have.
The most interesting part is, I heard he has collected reasonable sums from over 10 different ladies telling them varied sob stories. Most amazing is a girl who emptied her life savings that totalled 400,000.00 naira to give to this Mofo!! Kai... somebody direct me to her, please!!! She needs serious spanking and I am just the right person to give it to her. In this day and time when we all know how people live to collect your hard-earned money... ha!!! Na real wa oh!! the gist weak me no be small. I am still shaking my head in wonder.

Anyway, forget this gist for now (well, except you have fallen victim! then please queue up to be flogged!!!), I went to The Marquee yesterday with Vixen and a couple of other friends. We went cray cray in  there... Wow!!! DJ Jimmy Jatt was in the building and he was spinning the wheels like he knows how!! You know your girl likes to groove, right? I grooved mehn... TDB (till day break)!!!
There was a moment when I sat down to devour a plate of buffalo wings and fries (yummy!!). When I am out anywhere, I love to people-watch. Very entertaining hobby too, I must say. So while my eyes roved, they quickly zeroed in on this chic who was as good as naked... Wowza!!!! She had on a black very sheer dress with a thong on so everyone could see her butt and bra with cleavage in very clear detail. That was so not sexy, I tell you. On a beach or by the poolside, I would understand the thong and bra but in the club... NO NO NO!!! To make matters worse, she was shaking her bum so hard and generally being a serious "baza-queen". I appreciate the female body oh, but I am no 3737 to want to be seeing the female body in public display like she had hers. Bride price don reduce sharperly... her poor folks!
Speaking of being a 3737, I would truly like to know why guys are turned on by it. Guys please tell me oh!!!

Alright darlings, I have to sway out of here now. I have a guest... *wink! But first, remember to look out for James Heights!
Hugs and Hershey kisses,

MIZ

2 comments:

Dami said...

wats 3737 abeg o?

Miz said...

Turn it upside down, hon. Then read it again