Blind Date... eish!!!

If you follow me on twitter, then you know what I was up to on monday evening. I went on a date with Colin Farrell's character in "Horrible Bosses". Seriously! Well, figuratively. In looks and character, this dude walked straight out of "The Freaky Weirdos" (is there a movie with that name?)
His hair had obviously been permed and slicked back. He must have adored Oliver De Coque. He is beginning to go bald, I should say. Go figure how his head looked. His lips were wet and guys with wet lips disgust me endlessly. He kept licking them all through the evening and had white marks on the edges of his lips... I could not eat a bite!! *GAG*
He had small beady eyes that kept undressing me and made me feel so dirty (I scrubbed so hard when I got home!) He's got a potbelly, but that did not stop him from wearing this really tight shirt that made me keep looking to see if a button had popped.

That one no do the guy oh!!! He can't speak correct English to save his life. He mixed his tenses so badly, it hurt. You know the worst part though? His voice!! He's got this voice that can be heard a mile away!! He was so generous with his phone conversations as well as ours, that I'm sure the people downstairs benefited from it. We all got to hear about the rolls royce parked in his village mansion and the palazzo he bought in spain for his and his "bebe" (pronounced as written) to relax when "legos" becomes too stressful.

"You know I have work hard to earn my money. It did not comes easy to me at all. I have struggle and today it have end. I can afford to traveled everywhere in this world and treat my "bebe" to the same thing. Let me tell you nne, you think I left work to come and play with you? I am wanting serious affair here. Be good to me and in less than 6months, I marry you!"

Oh hell NO!!!! That was just too much mehn!! I stood up, picked up my bag and forgetting how tired I was, I marched out of the restaurant!! For what na!!! Meee, Miz, I don suffer... Kai!!!! Be "good to him". Did my aunt tell that dude the caliber of people I roll with?
It's not his fault sha. I was being nice to my aunt when I agreed to go even though I should have paid attention to my instincts. Who names their kid "Erastus", biko?! I should have run when I heard that was his name, but nice girl wan kill me.

"Erastus Okoro"... Eishhh... What a very unsexy name!!!!

But the dude get liver sha, I no go lie. He saw a lady dressed to the teeth like I was, my perfect diction, and still said I should be "nice" to him so he can marry me. Who dey find husband?! Taaa...!!!!
I still have not gotten over it oh. Thank God he does not have my number or anything.
I haven't called my aunt yet. I am still so pissed. Na me she look finish, come throw give Erastus Okoro?! That dude should be with someone named "Ekwutosi" who would give him a huge smile when he opens his mouth to bleat. Bush man!

I wanted to gist y'all about "The Dream Wedding" by Mai Atafo Inspired, but this gist don weak me. I'm off to bed. Talk to y'all later, okay?
Hugs and Hershey kisses,


MIZ