ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! I cannot even control this laughter! Hahahahahhahahahahaha... Hehehehehehehehehe...!!! Gawd, some people missed their callings in life, I swear! Lordha'mercy!!! I have not laughed this hard in longer than I can recall. Somebody tell me again why I should not love coming to The Palms *eyebrowsRaised*.
First it was "call me Mrs. Orlando", now it is this clown that either owns or manages Film Juice/ Film Cafe! My doctor would be pleased to look at my heart right now. This laughter don exercise am die!
Where to start... Ummm... Okay... "call me Mrs. Orlando". While at Phenomenon, my friend who told me of SGC, introduced Somi and I to this heavily pregnant lady whom she came with. She was like...
"Miz darling, Somi... Meet my colleague, Alero. Alero, meet my dear friends Somi and Miz." As fellow chics, Somi and I hailed her...
"hi Alero... Nice to meet you." Me, I followed it up with "abeg, when are we coming to carry baby?"
You would not believe what Alero said next!
She said...
"Call me Mrs. Orlando. Thank you." and she said it with this really condescending tone you use for those you believe to be beneath you. Thank God a fly did not fly into our mouths from how long we had them hanging open! I could not believe the babe! Hahahahaha!!!!!
Somi recovered faster than I did and in minutes my mouth was open again but the laughter coming from it could be heard a mile off! Somi turned to her and was like...
"oh really? Forgive our social inadequacies, Mrs. Orlando. And I must apologize on behalf of our darling friend, Oma, or should I say Mrs. Irondi? Let us do this introduction all over again. I am Mrs. Somi Galadima from the Galadima dynasty, and unfortunately Miz here likes to be known as just Miz even to the minions in her office. So I guess even you get to call her Miz. Oh my... Want me to get you a chair? You look like you might need it. You look all swollen. Miz boo, do you remember when I was pregnant with Amber? What label was that after me to grace their billboard again? They could not believe I was 7months pregnant! I was so graceful in my state. I guess I defined real beauty then. How many months gone are you, sweetie? Nine?... Oma, please get these attendants to get Mrs. Orlando a chair, thank you."
I cracked up, mehnnnn... I could not hold it in. I even doubled over after I saw the look on "call me Mrs. Orlando's" face. She looked like she had been hit with a truck full of dung! Even Oma was struggling to hold her laughter in. One mysterious cough suddenly held her captive. Somi had a straight face all the while, the sly fox!
But my fellow babes sha!!! Honestly, I'm still cracking up thinking of that! I could not even say a word. Not even to save my own life. First it was disbelief, then laughter that had me captive! Hehehehehehehe
I did not know I had more laughter in store for me O! Today has been awesome! Sexy-as-sin lingerie, exquisite shoes, good movie, and laughter to last me a month! Let me gist you what happened at the cafe upstairs. Somi and I went there to get two cups of their smoothies to refresh our energy level as we were getting ready to go to Hangers & Kicks to dress-hunt. While waiting for someone to bring us a menu, we were busy gisting and stuff. Next thing we knew, this dude bounded up to us and said "you are sitting on the chairs reserved for my clients, the least you could do is order a smoothie. If you won't order, then please give way for people who want to patronize us." Did I see your brows shoot up? Mine did O! Somi told me later that she thought they would fall off. This was my forte however. I am a corporate chic and I know what you should and should not do to anatagonize your clients. I turned to the dude and said...
"how rude of you, Mister. No wonder you hardly have people here to buy your stuff. You suck at customer services. Even if we did not want to buy, which by the way we actually wanted to, your attitude right now has served to ensure I never buy stuff from you again, nor will my friends when they get to hear of this, and trust me they will. You should go take a beginners course in Customer Services. You don't know jack!"
That said, I turned and started to walk away. The man who had also turned to go back to his office, came back to meet Somi thinking I had gone, and was like "your friend is very rude. Very very rude. She has no right to talk to me the way she just did. Tell her I said that. She needs to learn how to talk to people." Somi simply told him, "she's right behind you actually. I think you will relay the message better." I was just standing there laughing at the man who walked away as if the hounds of hell were on his heels!
Somi and I burst into maniacal laughter. Seriously! Two clowns in one day is a bit too much for us to handle! Kai... God help me O!
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